WHAT’S UP ON WHATSAPP TODAY?

Hey guys! It is the social media age. Practically everyone with a smart phone is now a writer and everyone is a publisher. Before now, there was one very important guy between the writer and the publisher. He was king of the newsroom. He was called 'Editor'. His job was to make sure that whatever the public read was as much as possible factual and that there was balance in the story that his newspaper told. Every great newspaper was built on its credibility. It was the job of the editor to ask the critical questions: What? Who? Where? How? Why? I used to consider editors the most powerful men and women in any nation. 

 

That day is gone and all that appears to be history. Very few people these days get their news from any newspaper. Very few watch TV except for Telemundo, Zee World, African Magic and Premier League. People do not even talk anymore. They 'chat'.  Everyone is on WhatsApp, the "wicked" app owned by Mark Zuckerberg who also owns Facebook.

 

Twenty-four hours a day, news, photos, videos, gospel, lies, sex and mischief continue to stream in on WhatsApp. If you are not careful, you get hooked, swallow it all and suffer the constipation.

 

On WhatsApp now, there is a platform for your village, your town, your old school mates, your church group, your colleagues at work, your drinking partners, the pepper-soup joint you belong to, etc. Every day, you must check all the platforms. It is never ending. People are begging you on WhatsApp… people are toasting you on WhatsApp.

 

WhatsApp, the free messaging and video calling app is a leveler. It is the app you turn to every morning before anything else. It is said to be used by over two billion people in more than 180 countries. The users include students, and their teachers, nurses and doctors, plumbers, vulcanizers, market women, taxi drivers, lawyers, pastors, choir girls and prostitutes, politicians and voters et al. WhatsApp is so simple that anybody can use it. It is reliable, cheap and private, so you can easily keep in touch with anybody. WhatsApp works across mobile and desktop even on slow connections, with no subscription fees.

 

The incredible thing about WhatsApp is that it knows no boundaries. You can be reached on your very same number anywhere on earth at practically no cost. Your personal messages and calls to anyone on WhatsApp are said to be end-to-end encrypted. In other words, no one outside of your chats, not even WhatsApp, can read or listen to your jive. So, you can gossip as much as you want and tell as many lies as you want and curse anybody as much as you like and be as raunchy and naked as you ever dreamed of on WhatsApp and the world will continue to rock on! What of the famous WhatsApp video calls? Hmmmm! You can see everything and practically do everything and its no one's business.

How else do you know whether "super cop", Abba Kyari is today in police cell, with the NDLEA or has joined his guy, Hushpuppy in a beautiful FBI cell in America if you are not on WhatsApp? Tell me how you will know whether Bobrisky in old age, has changed his mind and has decided to go back to being a man.

 

If you are not on WhatsApp, how do you know who the Jagaban Borgu, the Asiwaju of Lagos and the man whose ambition is to rule Nigeria, is visiting today? How do you confirm if he is truly peeing in his pants?  

 

Can you believe that for several months, I was begging my guy, Aubameyang to bang in some goals for my dear Arsenal and he was running around the football field like a chicken with long neck and Arsenal was gradually heading for relegation. Now, Auba walks away from Arsenal without saying "Bye-Bye" and is slamming the goals for Barcelona and expects me to be happy. You think I am talking nonsense? It's all on WhatsApp!   

 

Go to any social gathering these days and everybody is typing on his little machine, 'snapping' photos, posting or 'chatting'. Everyone is spreading information for good or for evil with all the biases that human beings have.  There are no rules and anyone can be as nasty as he wants to be, as raw as he chooses to be and as hateful as he decides to be.

 

Last week, the world woke up to the horror that Russian President, Vladmir Putin had ordered the full military invasion of his neighbouring nation of Ukraine. The bombing, the killing, the dyeing, the horrendous destruction is all there on WhatsApp.

 

WhatsApp with its two billion users has become so terrifyingly powerful. It has become clear that Mark Zuckerberg has in his hands data that can be deployed to elect leaders anywhere and to remove them if it becomes necessary. WhatsApp is no longer just an app, it is an army. Do not forget that Donald Trump, who no serious person gave a chance, conquered America with a smart phone with the help of his friend, Vladmir Putin. To regulate a behemoth like WhatsApp or not and if yes, how, are questions that the world must struggle with.

 

As we adjust to a new world, a world in which there soon will be no newspapers as we have known them, no checks and balances as we have known them, no rules or regulations as we have known them, how do we survive?

 

By the way, have you checked your WhatsApp today?

 

See you next week.

BADLY NEEDED! PROOF OF GOOD HEALTH FOR ALL NIGERIAN PRESIDENTIAL CONTESTANTS

During the week, many Nigerians were shocked by the bombshell and traumatizing allegation by the nation's official drug agency that the much-celebrated police super cop, DSP Abba Kyari, is in reality not the crime burster he was hailed to be but a common criminal and an illicit drug pusher riding rough shod over Nigerian laws and milking the cocaine trade for cash. The development has made me and many other Nigerians numb and raises many-many questions about how things have fallen apart with the security and crime fighting system in our country. 

While Nigerians were still trying to deal with the Abba Kyari calamity, a satanic video went virile on social media in which the Jagaban Borgu, the Asiwaju of Lagos, the bullion van political fixer and the nation's most publicized presidential candidate, Bola Ahmed Tinubu, was said to have publicly urinated on his trousers during a visit to the palace of the Awujale of Ijebuland, Oba Sikiru Adetona. I do not know if the story attached to the widely circulating video is true or made up by mischief makers or those who will go to any length to make sure that our dear Asiwaju does not become the Emperor of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

If the story is true, no one should laugh at the former governor of Lagos or ridicule him. Anyone can be sick and anyone can die. Besides, Bola Tinubu is at the age when millions of men have prostate, bladder or urinary challenges. That is nothing to be ashamed of.   

The true health status of the Jagaban however can no longer be his personal secret if he truly wants to be an elected President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. What applies to Tinubu applies to every other presidential candidate, young or old. Nigerians have a right to know.

With the bevy of problems confronting our nation today, Nigerians deserve a president who is not just mentally alert but physically fit. He almost has to be superman to deal with our many problems. It will be sacrilege, after our repeated experience, for our country to be led by any man or woman who constantly needs to travel to see a doctor every other month. The cost to our nation has been huge.

How many people remember how Nigerians were taken for a ride before the April 21, 2007 presidential elections? There was serious speculation across the country that the PDP candidate, Umaru Musa Yar' Adua, was in poor health and not fit for the presidency. The propaganda machine of then President Olusegun Obasanjo, the main sponsor of the Yar' Adua for president project, went on over-drive. We were assured that nothing was wrong with the soft-spoken former governor of Katsina State who went on to be elected and sworn in on May 29, 2007 to succeed Obasanjo.

Not long after, things fell apart. President Yar' Adua was twice flown to Germany for emergency medical treatment. That did not do the trick as thing got worse.  On November, 23, 2009, Yar' Adua had to be flown to a hospital in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia where he spent many months fighting Pericarditis.

This left Nigeria in a huge constitutional crisis, as the President did not transmit power to his Vice President, Dr Goodluck Jonathan before departing the country as required under section 145 of the 1999 Constitution. Goodluck Jonathan refused to perform the functions of the President insisting that he had not been given such powers. In effect, for several months, Nigeria had no leader and the country drifted dangerously while political jobbers and a Yar' Adua cabal enjoyed the confusion.

It took the famous "Doctrine of Necessity" by the National Assembly led by David Mark to formally make Goodluck Jonathan Acting President on January 9 201O. A very sick Yar' Adua was quickly smuggled back into the country at dead of night on February 24, 2010 by those who were unhappy with Jonathan holding the power of the presidency. Our terminally ill President was never seen in public again. Sadly, he died at Aso Rock two and half months later on 5^th May 2010 at the age of 58 and Jonathan became President.

We have had a similar situation with our current leader, President Muhammad Buhari, also from Katsina State, who was sworn in as President on May 29, 2015. He took his first medical vacation only eight months after coming to office. He spent six days in London between February 5 and 10 in 2016. He embarked on his next medical trip on June 6, 2016. He was away in England for close to two weeks as he sought treatment for an ear infection. On and on, the President has travelled for medical treatment that most people have lost count.

 

A conservative estimate shows that nearly one year of the President Buhari's seven-year tenure so far has been spent in London on medical trips. Several times, it has been speculated that our President has passed on. No one who truly loves Nigeria can say that this is ok. With the array of issues that daily seek the President's attention, it is not rocket science to see how the hopelessness that has afflicted Nigerians has been exacerbated by this situation.

 

INEC has set down a number of conditions for interested candidates which include age, educational qualification, tax clearance, etc. Nothing is said about the health status of our potential leader. Considering the price Nigerians have paid in recent years, that ought to change. We have a right to know what the medical condition is of anyone who seeks to lead us. Please, this is not an age issue. After all President Yar' Adua died in office at a considerably young age of 58.

The law may need to be amended to statutorily address this concern. Until then, the candidates themselves should convince us that they are mentally and physically fit for the job. The health status of every candidate is on the ballot.  

See you next week.

ALL OVER AMERICA!

Things are bad in Nigeria; very-very bad. But let's face it: our problem with darkness did not start with the Buhari regime. For many years, we have shouted 'NEPA!' in celebration of the odd one hour of light after many hours of darkness. Nigerians have had to wrestle with the pandemic of corruption for as long as I can remember. The difference is that in the past, we had hope that things would get better. These days, we have no hope. We trust nobody and believe in nobody.

Buahri may be the last Nigerian leader to gain the people's trust. Those who trusted in him are dazed. I don't think that any serious Nigerian would say that Nigeria has become better, more efficient or less corrupt as a result of Buhari's much promoted intolerance for inefficiency or his War Against Corruption. With instability, blood, death and tears everywhere?

Without doubt, we have had too many incompetent people in too many positions in our country for too long. We even fought a fratricidal war which left thousands of our children with horrific kwashiorkor and hundreds of thousands of our brothers dead. We have had military coups on top of military coups and military rule of all colorations. Now, civilians have taking over the coup plotting.

While the Chinese were working on 4G and 5G, Nigerians invented 419 and we have lived through it. Despite all of these, Nigerians always had a kind of swagger. We looked at anyone from anywhere boldly in the eyes and dared whoever that person is to take us on. If you pushed a Nigerian, he pushed you back. We had little doubt that we were a special breed made to face whatever challenges life threw at us. We went into the football field to battle everyone tackle for tackle. Our Eagles were not just Green, they were Super!

Have you noticed that these days your folks in Europe and America know more about what is happening in your village than you in Lagos or Abuja? It is from Europe or America that you get the midnight phone call informing you that a certain old relation of yours in the village has gone to rest with his ancestors.  With the cell phone revolution and the almighty WhatsApp, it now appears a lot easier and cheaper for folks in my village to call New York or Houston than to call me in Lagos. If the truth must be told, there is a reason why it makes more sense to first call the people 'overseas' than the strugglers in Lagos. That reason is spelt DOLLAR. Tell me, how many dollars or euros can you send home from Lagos? So, the calls go to where the money is. Who wants your dirty Naira that cannot buy anything? Just reminds me of the Toyota Camry brand Nigerians call "Big for Nothing"!

Just watch those who come out of the bank after a WESTERN UNION transaction. They are usually taller than they were when they walked in. The American dollar is exhilarating. It intoxicates like a combination of whiskey, brandy, rum and ogogoro. With some of those crisp green notes in your back pocket, you can almost invite the devil to a fight.  Maybe that is why after the recent horror of Afghanistan, Americans are itching to go and fight the devil elsewhere in Ukraine.

Recently, circumstances made me visit my Nigerian friends living in several cities in the United States. Everywhere, I found entire Nigerian families – children, father, mother, uncle, auntie, grandfather and grandmother. They have all run away from Nigeria.  In some places, it looks like the whole clan has migrated and if they can get visas for their dogs and goats and cats, they would ship them out too. 

Almost every Nigerian I met has lost that Nigerian swagger. It does not matter whether they have the green card or the American passport, they don't talk with the usual Nigerian bravado anymore. They talk like citizens of a failed state. They whisper. They are scared. Most of them left their villages in search of the golden fleece. Their intent was to go back home at the end of the day to where they are not mere statistics but proper citizens. Now, it is beginning to dawn on them that they are never going anywhere and may never be more than mere statistics for the rest of their lives.

Some of them from my part of the country who have built exquisite mansions at home have abandoned their mansions to cobwebs, rats, cockroaches and lizards. They know that some eagle-eyed kidnapper is permanently scanning their homes to see when the lights would be turned on. If for any reason they must return home, they must first make a sizeable budget for a small army of security men and keep several millions in a holding account as ransom for the day the kidnapper strikes. You know that the greatest success of all used to be to go home to celebrate your success. Not anymore.

All over WhatsApp, notifications of "unknown gunmen" raiding police stations and killing policemen on duty at roadblocks, with gory photos that tear at your soul, have become part of your daily consumption. Tell me, if the Police station in your hometown is not safe, where then is safe?

In every city I have travelled to in the US, almost every Nigerian I met wanted to talk to me. In fact, I was treated like someone from the war front. The words they use to describe Nigeria are shocking: 'nightmare', 'wasted', 'disgraceful', 'tragic', 'hopeless', etc. They seem to be taken aback that I plan to go back to Nigeria after a few weeks. Truly, some look at me as if something has gone wrong with me and I have signed a contract with suicide. "You mean you escaped that horror and you want to go back?!", I am asked over and over again.

The frightening thing is that most of my best friends of the 1980s and 1990s now live in America. Among them are some really brilliant folks that the Nigerian nation would need to remake itself. Unfortunately, nothing is happening at home that suggests to them that home wants them or that the land of their new struggle has not become their home.

There was the period just before the 'Ghana must go' episode when our brothers from the Republic of Ghana used to walk with their heads bowed because their leaders had turned their great nation into a place where no decent person could have a decent life. Many of them ran to Nigeria to do menial jobs. To all intents and purposes, the average Ghanaian man lost his manhood. That appears to be history.

Nigerians are today walking around with their heads bowed. Our leaders have turned our great nation into a place without hope. What is this that is happening to the Giant of Africa and its people known for our hitherto unstoppable self-belief? I have always been a great believer in the destiny of our nation. I am however bewildered by what I see. Has our iniquity caught up with us?

See you next week!

ONE MAN ONE VOTE – IS THAT THE SOLUTION TO ALL OUR PROBLEMS?

The entire democracy project hangs on an intriguing concept: all men are born equal. In other words, the great Aliko Dangote with his zillions of Naira, many trucks and thousands of employees has the same voting power as his cook. In a democracy, the opinion of a Bill Gates whose intellect created the incredible Microsoft software that drives almost all of human activities has the same weight as his janitor. Mark Zuckerberg, the mastermind of Facebook who today also owns the mega platforms, Instagram and WhatsApp has no voting power stronger that any of his thousands of employees across the globe.  A Barack Obama with his political sagacity and deep experience in world affairs casts one vote and that vote is in no way superior to that of a homeless man begging for coins in front of Washington DC's Union Station.

I was talking with a big player in the present Nigerian government. I had asked him why the government does not appear to listen to what the Nigerian intelligentsia says, especially as elections are coming close. He looked at me, sighed and said mockingly, "the government does not need the votes of the intelligentsia to get to power. Their vote is too expensive! Go to the motor park and the marketplace with some bags of rice and salt and some Naira notes and all the votes you are looking for are there with very little grammar" You see why the bullion van concept has taken hold?

Donald Trump, the defeated, twice impeached and loquacious former president of the United States who could not keep his hands off his twitter handle and who tells blatant lies about practically everything, was elected by Americans in a one man, one vote process, even if it is the electoral college variety. Should that not make you think? With his incredible megaphone, the Donald who today practically owns America's Republican Party, set out to destroy nearly all the institutions that has made America special for decades.

Across the Atlantic, Donald Trump's former friend, Boris Johnson who wears his hair in a scattered fashion like Mr. Trump is doing everything to scatter the rules and decency for which British Prime Ministers have been known for ages. Boris Johnson is also a product of the democratic process.

The world must watch out! What has happened to the Americans and probably the British should be a warning to humanity as to how dangerous, romantic terms such as 'self-determination', 'independence' and 'sovereignty' have become in the hands of demagogues with the skills to manipulate innocent people around the world looking for someone to blame for their frustrations, difficulties and shortcomings. In a system of one man one vote, all that is required is to introduce hate, religion, race or ethnicity and voila, it is really not that difficult to aggregate the votes of the uninformed and frustrated and unleash mayhem everywhere. One man one vote does not mean one good man one vote. It is does not mean one intelligent man one vote. Just ask yourself how a person as appalling as Donald Trump insulted everyone and manipulated his way to the most powerful office in the world. Come to think of it, was Adolf Hitler not a product of the democratic process?

Back home, we are faced with the same challenges. I have little doubt that if a one man one vote referendum is held in Nigeria's South-East today, it will not be difficult to get enough people to vote for an independent Republic of Biafra. The concept is romantic. I am a proud and unapologetic Igbo man. I am however not sure that my people have given sufficient thought to the cataclysmic consequences of Independence. For instance, where do you fit the millions of Igbo men trading in every nook and cranny of Nigeria? What do you do when your market of 180 million people suddenly shrinks to 40 million? What happens to the investments, properties and deep ties that the Igbos have developed across Nigeria? Where is the guarantee that the suspicions and persecution that we complain about in Nigeria will not be replicated in Biafra or even made worse with some Igbo groups lording it over others? There is no question that we love the concept of Biafra, a romantic land full of milk and honey that we will enjoy to the exclusion of others.

The problem with romance is that when you are in love, you see only the good things about the one you love. Almost always, you are blinded to the fault of your lover. Think of it: all the thousands of people in divorce courts were once in love. Why do you think there is so much divorce?

What applies to the Igbos applies to our brothers and sisters in the Niger Delta who want to blow up the country because they want 'self-determination', 'independence' and 'sovereignty'. The Yorubas who keep dreaming of an Oduduwa Republic may be in the same boat. Investigate and you will find that always there are puppeteers pulling the strings and hoping to deploy the values of one man one vote to achieve their pecuniary objectives.

I hope you do not come to the conclusion that I object to the concept of one man one vote. No! I am a democrat, but this human system has its flaws and we must be conscious of those flaws. Democracy can be hijacked and is being hijacked with dire consequences. The world must watch out! Recently, with the quantum progress that China is making, people are beginning to pay serious attention to the Chinese political model so derided not long ago. As a student of human progress, I have a duty to ask the question: is one man, one vote the solution to the many problems we have?

See you next week. 

HOW MANY BULLION VANS DOES YEMI OSINBAJO HAVE?

At a time when many will swear that the Nigerian nation is burning, those who believe that they own Nigeria are busy flexing their muscles. They have recruited all those who can write tolerable grammar to write for them or who can speak without any comma or full stop, to tell one and all how they are the greatest men in the history of mankind and why God has ordained them to rule Nigeria in 2023. Please note that they want to rule Nigeria, not lead Nigerians.

If you are a publicist or a professional noise maker and nobody has engaged you yet, then you have a big problem. You might need to go to your village and ask the oldest man in the clan the reason for your misfortune. Check Facebook, WhatsApp and the other popular digital platforms and you will find that anybody who can write is writing. On radio and television, anybody who can talk is talking. Oh! you will read and hear so much bad English and bad reasoning and a lot of nonsense. The noise makers are already very hard at work and yet, the battle is just beginning!

During the week in Dreamland, I met a Jagaban campaign man whose name I do not remember. He swore by the name of his long dead grandmother that it is either the Jagaban or no one else in 2023. The Jagaban campaign man is certain that the Jagaban is the only one who has the money to match anyone else naira for naira, dollar for dollar, bullion van for bullion van on the way to Aso Rock. I tried to argue with him and he looked at me and asked, "who bankrolled Buhari's election?" He then put it to me that Buhari could not have been President without the Jagban! I asked him what business the Jagaban does from which all this big-big money is coming, and he told me that I was asking a stupid question. "Don't you know that the Buhari government is waging a very transparent war against corruption in Nigeria. Have you heard that the EFCC arrested or asked the great Jagaban any question? Is that not enough for you to know that the man is clean?"

I was confused. Since money is the determinant, I asked the Jagaban man why should we not surrender the presidency to Aliko Dangote? After all, Aliko is reputed to be the richest man in Africa. He is in a position to match anyone naira for naira, dollar for dollar, bullion van for bullion van on the way to Aso Rock?  It occurred to me that it is possible that Aliko does not like the architecture of the Aso Rock mansion, So I asked, "if not Aliko, what of Abdulsamad Rabiu, chairman of BUA Group who is now reputed to be the next richest man in Nigeria?"

The Jagaban man reminded me that the presidency is supposed to be zoned to the South. "Not the South-East?", I asked. He quickly answered, "You don't get it. We are not talking about buying and selling. Who in Igbo land has any serious bullion van?". "Ok", I then asked, "in that case, what is wrong with Mike Adenuga said to be Nigeria's No 3 richest man. Is he not a from the South?" The Jagaban advocate stared at me in disbelief and said, "You do not understand the kind of money we are talking about. It is not the kind of money you get by selling recharge cards or sugar or fuel or cement. Counting machines can count that kind of money and only a foolish man sweats to make that kind of money and spends it on the way to Aso Rock. We are talking about real money. The money you need to get to Aso Rock cannot be counted.  It is inexhaustible. Apart from the Jagaban, the only person in Nigeria who can try with that kind of money is Atiku. You would think that after the many billions he shelled out four years ago, Atiku would be broke. No! Atiku is ready to do it all over again. But, be reminded that this battle has been fought before. In 2015 during the APC primaries at the Teslim Balogun Stadium in Lagos, Atiku tried to flex his muscles with dollars. When the Jagaban arrived, the music changed. It became clear that dollar pass dollar. That was how Buhari won the nomination and Osinbajo joined him as VP"

I then quizzed the Jagaban apostle, "talking about Osinbajo, I hear that he wants to throw his hat in the race". The Jagaban man laughed and looked at me almost in pity and asked, "How many bullion vans does Yemi Osinbajo have?"

The Jagaban man told me that I do not understand Nigerian politics and that I should go and face my showbusiness. According to him, Nigerian politics is different from the kind of politics you read in textbooks. According to him, Nigeria has about 200 million very-very hungry people who have been pauperized. They have no patience for promises of what you will do for them in four years. They want food now and not grammar! And whoever brings food now is their God.

Hmmm… I consider politics to be show business expressed differently. If an orchestra must deliver a performance worthy of sustained applause, all the instruments must be finely tuned and all the instrumentalists in harmony. The carriage and body language of the performer is critical. I have never met Yemi Osinbajo but I like his carriage, body language and the intellect he exudes. He seems to be a thinking man. It is the same way I like Peter Obi, Pius Anyim and a few others. I verily believe that we need to change this bullion van mindset if we are going to lift millions of our countrymen from the despair and hunger they are consumed in.

I will not be surprised, despite what the Jagaban man says, if the Osinbajo orchestra hits the right notes because I know some of the key figures in the group. One of the V.P.'s top advisers is an incredibly brilliant Nigerian called Ade Ipaye. Ipaye was Attorney-General in Lagos State. Ipaye taught me the Law of Contract at the University of Lagos, became my course supervisor and we developed a warm relationship. While he was AG in Lagos, there was nothing in the carriage of this unassuming and incredibly efficient gentleman that would suggest to you that he was one of the most powerful people in Lagos. Ipaye once walked into an event I hosted in Lagos. There was no big agbada, no aide following him, no airs, nothing! He is a thinking man.

Anyone who has followed the career of Laolu Akande, who has been managing Osinbajo's communication would know that he understands the value of timing, rhythm and drama in communication. It may be politics but it is also showbusiness.

But let us not get ahead of ourselves. Is Osinbajo in the game? With or without any bullion van, Osinbajo would face daunting challenges. Does he have the heart?

(TO BE CONTINUED)

See you next week.

ON THE WAY TO ASO ROCK

The battle has begun. Tinubu has gone to Aso Rock to announce to Buhari the secret everybody in Nigeria has known for so long. Bola Ahmed Tinubu is ready to roll out his many bullion vans, his ubiquitous foot soldiers and his fast talking and fast writing PR men. In a never-before-seen display of shock and awe, Tinubu plans to grab Aso Rock villa with both hands. There will soon be posters, banners and buntings everywhere proclaiming Tinubu as Nigeria's potential savior. Television adverts and intricately crafted documentaries will also fill the air.

If the Asiwaju team thinks that their principal is the only one dreaming dreams of becoming the Number 1 citizen of Africa's biggest nation, then they may not be as sharp as they ought to be. With the problems that Nigeria has, you would think that nobody would want Buhari's job. No! The guy who resides at Aso Rock determines who gets what and who keeps what. In the next couple of weeks, we will hear many tales of those who are itching to deploy their own bullion vans and foot soldiers in the theatre of war and match Tinubu, bazooka for bazooka. Many more people will visit Buhari. Many will leave believing that they have the blessing of the old man. I laugh…

The spiders, crocodiles and vampires on the way to Aso Rock are mind boggling. Beyond the bullion vans, there are intrigues, deceptions and betrayals that no screen writer can contemplate. To enter Aso Rock, even by means of a coup, takes everything.

I knew MKO Abiola very well. Despite our different ethnic origins, he treated me like a cherished younger brother and spoke to me on many intimate issues. Indeed, I had a multiple entry visa to his Ikeja home. Most people remember the late MKO for his prodigious wealth, I remember him for his prodigious intellect. The man was as sharp as 'Crocodile Narcet'. Before the computer notebook was made public for worldwide use, Abiola had a motherboard and processor in his head. Abiola remembered everything and forgot nothing. He could outthink anybody at dizzying speed. Yet when it came to Aso Rock, Abiola with his massive intellect, unsurpassed contacts and many-many bullion vans thought he had got the keys to the villa. Na lie! As he tried to open the gate, he found that the keys had been changed. Abiola died fighting for the keys he thought he got fair and square.  

Atiku Abubakar lived in the very next building to the Aso Rock mansion. As Vice President, he knew all the pathways and back doors to the villa. Atiku Abubakar has deployed money, lots of it; has travelled far and wide on different vehicles; compromised with people he otherwise would not speak with. At times he lost his way, retraced his steps and began the journey again. When Atiku Abubakar began his walk towards Aso Rock, the villa was very close but the more he has walked, the father away the villa has become.

Ask Peter Odili how many truckloads of money he off loaded and how many miles he travelled on his way to Aso Rock. Odili did not even see the gate of the villa. He was given an admonition and turned back at Eagle Square.

Anyone who tells you that he knows who will be the next president of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, is a big liar. Not even Buhari knows. Believe me, there will be many twists and turns in the tale. There is no question that Tinubu has enormous resources of men and money. He has built a significant war chest. He obviously has done well for himself in Lagos. His success might turn out to be his albatross. There are many who are scared of Tinubu and are hell bent on opposing him. They point to how Tinubu easily became the "Emperor" of Lagos. They don't want him to be the emperor of Nigeria.

Who would have forgotten the tale of the last governorship election of Godwin Obaseki in Edo State. It is reported that many in Edo State told Tinubu to return home as Edo is not Lagos with the hashtag, #edonobelagos, trending. Will a new hashtag, #naijanobelagos begin to trend? Is the recently reported ambition of Tinubu's "boy", Vice President, Yemi Osinbajo to succeed Buhari real? Or is it a diversionary measure, a dummy?

If in 2008 someone told you that one Goodluck Jonathan would become President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, would you not have told the person that he is drinking too much 'ogogoro'? Goodluck Who? Twice, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan walked through the Aso Rock gate and occupied the place, something Abiola could not do, Atiku has still not been able to do and Odili could not do. I repeat that anyone who tells you that he knows who will be the next president of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, is a big liar. There will be many quarrels and disagreements within the parties. There will still be many decampments. No conclusions yet, while are writing their scripts, God is writing His.

The horror movie, bigger than anything ever created by Hollywood, Bollywood or Nollywood, will be on show at theatres all over Nigeria this year and early 2023. It will be intriguing, that is if we do not get a Jerry Rawlings who jumps in and says, "enough is enough with this madness in Nigeria!".

See you next week.

“EVERYBODY PLC”

During the week, I read that a prominent Nigerian Senator has asked the Buhari government to kill all the bandits and members of the Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB), whom the distinguished senator believes have rendered Nigeria ungovernable.

Upon reading the senator's 'well thought-out' solution to what has become an absolute nightmare, I did not know whether to laugh or to cry.  His simplistic belief that Nigeria can shoot or kill its way out of its current quagmire is a good example of focusing on the symptoms and not the disease.

There are fundamental questions that need to be asked: How did Nigeria get here? How did Africa's largest nation suddenly descend into a society where the lives of its citizens appear not to be more valuable than the lives of house rats? How did blatant violence become the language of our debates?

Nigeria did not become bad because of Buhari but our nation has certainly become much worse under him.

There was great hope that Buhari's well promoted reputation for zero tolerance of corruption and indiscipline would envelope the country and sanitize it and give Nigeria the moral biceps to make great progress and achieve development for her people. Buhari's reputation was earned as a military man with a top-down command structure. To say that the President has let a lot of people down is to put it mildly. I have several friends who were die-hard Buhari supporters who today shake their heads in amazement at what Nigeria has become.

The fact is that Buhari would not have become President without the APC. While the APC assumed the posture of a political party, it was in reality a patch work of many different individual economic contraptions and expectations who brought together the huge resources of men and money to make Buhari president with the intent to ride on his presidency. After Buhari became President, the contraptions and expectations remained. The President as a non-military officer has not exhibited the political skill or ability to mould the different contraptions into one group with an overriding principle and philosophy pursuing progressive national objectives. There is also the ethical question of whether he can bite the fingers that fed him even when it is clear that the fingers fed him with stolen food. The foot soldiers have remained loyal to their original leaders who have to provide the funding to maintain them, most times by exploiting the system. The consequence is that there are so many PLCs within the APC. The matter was not made easier by the significant health challenges the president faced at the beginning of his tenure.

When Buhari became President, there was palpable fear across the country that any abuse of the system would be visited with stringent consequences. To the surprise of many, Nigeria has witnessed wall-to-wall abuse of the system with little consequence. While the economic pain in the land has become almost unbearable for much of the population, those close to the APC appear to leave in a different world.  The result is that Nigeria has lost the ethical or moral fibre that propels a nation.

Sadly, today, many-many Nigerians are working for themselves. They look around and conclude that sacrificing for the nation or their employers is nonsensical and that there is no price to pay for going in the opposite direction. Your average policeman is not interested in security of lives and property. He has no moral revulsion or distaste in collecting money from any criminal. To all intents and purposes, he is running his own PLC. Your average custom officer or civil servant is running his own PLC. Don't be surprised that your P.A. is running her own PLC with your resources and facilities and that your driver is doing Uber on the side with your car.

There is also the reality that the take home pay of the average Nigerian worker cannot take him home. He therefore sets up his own PLC to make ends meet.

The bandits who operate from forests across the nation clearly feel no moral revulsion or distaste for what they do. They do not feel worse than those they regard as bandits operating from state houses, national and state assemblies or from ministries and government departments all around the country who are not serving the nation but running their many PLCs. Some of them even feel like that they are more than day Robin Hoods. At the moment, if any of the bandits in the forest is killed, more bandits will readily emerge. Sadly, the present ethical and moral centre of the Nigerian nation promotes banditry. It is the same way no one can kill off all the IPOB fanatics. Everyday, more fanatics join the movement because the conditions that created the movement continue to simmer.

The vacuum in Nigerian leadership has permeated down and spread across the nation. The young men who are sent to fight Boko Haram wonder why they should sacrifice their lives for those they believe are living their lives to the fullest in a nation where in churches, mosques, courts, hospitals, universities, etc, etc, the Everybody Plc is booming. Sad.  

See you next week.

BIG NATIONAL HONOUR FOR DORIS OKWUOBI!

Is it possible to be sad and yet happy at the same time? This week, I seemed to be both at the same time.

I was sad as the events of the Lekki massacre of October 2020 of young Nigerians who were asking for a better nation became news all over again on all major news networks across the globe and the reporters seemed to be making jest of the government of Nigeria.

At the same time, I was happy that a brilliant Nigerian woman who chaired the Lagos State Panel of Inquiry on the October 2020 Lekki toll gate shooting, had the courage to speak truth to power and officially report to the world what we all knew to be true. Our army and police, paid with public funds, massacred young Nigerians in cold blood for doing nothing but seeking that their nation with so much endowments from the Almighty, should be better led. I hereby move a motion on this social media platform that a big national honour be bestowed on Hon Justice Doris Okwuobi for her courage and wisdom and for giving the young people of Nigeria hope for a better tomorrow.

Justice Okwuobi could have looked at what happened recently to Justice Mary Odili and shuddered. She could have thought of her career in the judiciary and developed cold feet. She could have worried about the unknown gunmen let loose to kill, maim, rape and desecrate everything everywhere and ask herself if it is worth it. She did none of the above and became a great heroine of the Nigerian nation.  

I am proud, very proud of what the youth of Nigeria did in the weeks of the

WOW! WOW! THE ALMIGHTY HAS DONE IT FOR ME AGAIN!

On Saturday Breakfast, I have told many stories about the love I share with my youngest daughter, Stephanie Chinenye Okoroji. Though 'Babim', as I call her, was born in America, I had to make sure she came back to Nigeria, went to nursery, primary and secondary schools and learnt to jump danfo busses and okada in Lagos.

She was the one in the house who found out when my nails where too long and trimmed them for me and generally made sure I was looking dapper. There is this special call and response I share with her. We sing it like a song.

When Iyke, my younger brother in America, called and asked that Babim should come over and finish school in the States, I was of two minds. I stayed awake at night thinking about it. I did not want any of my kids speaking with a funny accent or thinking it is ok to say "Daddy, don't be silly!' Besides, I loved the camaraderie we shared and did not want to miss that. Ultimately, I left the decision to her.

I remember the very long trip we took via Dubai to New York. It was not because we wanted to enjoy the famous Dubai experience. Emirates was offering the lowest fare to America and we could only afford the lowest fare. We had to go east in order to go west. It appeared like an endless trip.  

About three years ago, I watched with tremendous pride and joy as my baby daughter, graduated at the University of Maryland at Baltimore County (UMBC). My girl thought I was in Lagos. She did not know that I was in the auditorium watching and smiling, having arrived Baltimore a few hours earlier and having conspired with my brother, Iyke to keep the information from her. How do I describe the yelp she uttered when she saw me at UMBC? Unforgettable! Incredible! Unbelievable! It was worth every kilometre I travelled and every hard Naira it cost. It was a present like no other.

When the 1^st of August 2020 was fixed for the wedding of Babim to her sweetheart, Sam Egiafameh in Glenn Dale, a suburb of Maryland, it was meant to be a day like no other. I was practically counting the days, the hours and the minutes.

Madam, the fashionista that she is, raided Balogun market in Lagos to get the best fabrics on show to create for me some eye splitting agbada for the occasion. Ordinarily, I am not an agbada person but the 1^st of August 2020 was scheduled to be a day like no other, a day to dress to finish and I was ready.

As the coronavirus reared its ugly head earlier in the year, we all thought that after a few weeks or at the worst a couple of months, the madness would go away. After all, did Ebola not go away? Did SARS not go away?

Who would have thought that instead of the virus going away, the year 2020 would be washed away? For many months, the Premiership, the NBA, the NFL, the MLS disappeared. Even the Olympic Games, the world's greatest spectacle with billions of dollars invested, was scrapped.

I was so sure that before the 1^st of August, I would find a way to get to Ameri fca and walk my baby down the aisle in my flowing agbada and do that which every father is proud to do.

Who would have thought that the ever busy Murtala Muhammed International Airport in Lagos could be shut down month after month and all the airplanes that fly people from country to country, morning, afternoon and night, would be parked? How come none of the big prophets and seers that harass all of us on TV saw that the world would be turned upside down in 2020?

I struggled to make sense out of what was happening. I was stuck in Lagos while my baby girl was taking one of the biggest steps in her life. At least her mother got there before everywhere was shut down.

We had actually planned back-to-back weddings in the family, Stephanie's and TJ's. I called and shut down the TJ wedding. No Coronavirus was going to stop me from being present at the wedding of my only son. Not long after, I was hit by a medical crisis and urgently needed to travel for medical help. Two days before my trip, a strong attempt was made to abduct me in Lagos, whisk me away and waste me in Benin. In the execution of the devious plan, the Almighty intervened. While I was abducted, my abductors could not take me away from Lagos. God freed me and I was able to travel for my medicals.

One afternoon, not long after I came back from my medical trip, the news came that bank accounts of COSON of which I am chairman had been frozen, the accounts of my personal business had been frozen, my domiciliary account had been frozen and my personal Naira account had also been frozen. Suddenly, life was hanging in a balance. To do basic things, I had to find someone to borrow from.

I hold no government position and have no access to one naira of government funds. I do not do money laundering, I do not do oil bunkering, I do not do 'yahoo-yahoo' or internet fraud of any kind, I do not deal in drugs and I am not engaged in any criminal activity of any sort but they have kept hunting me. There is no big money in any of my accounts that will suggest that it is the proceed of any crime and they know it. Their objective is to decapitate me.

Dr Jatto who took not one penny from me will confirm that on the day I left Nigeria, I came to take six injections from him making it eighteen in three days. Without my daughter, Alex who travelled with me, I may not have made it to New York for my son's wedding.

Though I still had health challenges in New York, I was pumped up. I was sure that those who froze my accounts had not frozen my faith and organizational ability. I am usually not one for big family events but I begged the Almighty to make the wedding of my son, who is my good friend and confidant an exception and an unforgettable event and to show evil people their limits and God answered my prayers big time.

You think God is done with me? This week while I was thinking of where to get money to pay the salaries of my staff, great news came from America. My baby girl, Stephanie Chineye Egiafameh has given me an early Christmas gift of a bouncing grandson. I must be the luckiest man in the world. What name should I give my newly minted grandson? Please join me in thanking the Almighty who continues to bless me over and over again. I am H A P P Y!

See you next week. 

WHO DOES BUHARI SPEAK TO?

Did you listen to the President's Independence Day speech? It is a pity that many Nigerians seem to have tuned off on him.

I have said before that I am a sucker for words masterfully put together. I believe that words used the right way can move mountains. They can make men fight like hell in war. The right words can bring peace where strife reigns. The architecture of change is words. The building is action.

I am one of those who believe that Nigerians have had to endure the excruciating pain we are suffering today because we have a president who has very little skills in the use of words.

President Buhari was elected practically, without saying anything to anybody. An avalanche of people like Adams Oshiomhole, Festus Keyamo, Bola Tinubu and co. hugged the microphones at campaign events and spoke for Buhari and made promises on behalf of Buhari. Please check, Buhari personally promised Nigerians very little. With hindsight, Nigerians never really had a chance to measure Buhari.

Masterfully, the minders of Buhari scattered the presidential debates organized by BON during the elections. Across the world, the political debate has become a critical platform for assessing politicians and their abilities, their communication skills, their temperaments, their mastery of the issues and their readiness for the job. That is why nations do not joke with debates and nobody gets elected without a debate. Words matter.

On the debate stage, Buhari would have been on his own. There would have been no Garba Shehu, no Femi Adesina or Lai Mohammed to tell him what to say. There would have been no press release to tell us what he means. We would have heard him unfiltered and left to make up our minds.

If you think that Donald Trump lost the last U.S. presidential election on the day of voting on November 3, 2020, then you were not quite following the events. Joe Biden won the Presidency fair and square on September 29 on the debate stage in Cleveland Ohio.

Words matter. Just imagine how many people have been moved by the immortal words of Martin Luther King Jnr in his 'I have a dream' speech. What of the unforgettable 'Ask not what your country can do for you' speech of John F. Kennedy? Without 'Yes we can' would Barack Obama, the young man of Kenyan ancestry, have become President of the most powerful nation on earth?

As a Nigerian, I keep scratching my head in search of the memorable or inspirational words of our President. Of course, the lack of appreciation of the use of words by those who purport to lead us, to paint their picture of tomorrow and to inspire us to dream big dreams, has something to do with the level of our underdevelopment. President Buhari's inability to lift us up with his words and heal our wounds at this time of distress, is a sore in the heart of many Nigerians. Words do matter.

The President was correct when he said in his broadcast: "The seeds of violence are planted in people's heads through words. Reckless utterances of a few have led to losses of many innocent lives and destruction of properties" I will plead with the President to honestly look in the mirror and ask whether he is guilty of the offence he is complaining about. Has he used words that have raised the tension and maybe violence in the country?

There are many who believe that the President is almost consumed by the ethnic agitators in the South and appears not to be sufficiently concerned by the gory killing fields in the north. These killing fields have made hundreds of thousands of our fellow countrymen refugees in their own land. As the President spoke, our air force is said to be bombing parts of our country, a nation technically not at war! Schools are closed in some parts of the north with millions of children at home because nobody can guarantee their safety from bandits. Cell phone networks have been switched off in several parts of the north to deal with what is clearly a horrendous break down of law and order.

Yet in his broadcast, the President mentions just two names form the South. He said, "the recent arrest of Nnamdi Kanu and Sunday Adeyemo and the ongoing investigations have revealed certain high-profile financiers behind these individuals" Please Mr. President, who is financing the mayhem in the north? Kanu and Adeyemo are not known to have done anything to create the chaos that is consuming our nation. They are ethnic agitators and there are those who will tell you that it is the actions of the government that have made these hitherto unknown individuals the superstars they have become with huge cult followership, even while in jail.

I am sure everyone remembers that during his first inauguration, President Buhari said these words: 'I belong to everybody and I belong to nobody'. The words practically caught fire. They were repeated over and over across the country. Those nine words conveyed deep meanings of which a major book could be written. I had hoped thereafter to hear from our President such deep words that can exalt Nigerians and elevate the desire of Nigerians, man and woman, to do the work necessary to uplift our nation.

 

Why is it important? No general fights a war alone. He must inspire his commanders and foot soldiers to feel what he feels, take on the enemy with gusto and lay down their lives if it becomes necessary. A good army is like an orchestra. All the instruments are in tune and every instrumentalist follows the slightest gesture of the conductor. My gut feeling is that Nigeria is at war but the foot soldiers necessary to win the war are not engaged. Our Commander-in- Chief has not properly articulated the war so Nigerians can fight with him. So, President Buhari and his handful of people are fighting the war alone. I do not know how they are going to win. I know not where it has happened before. No conductor plays a symphony all alone.

 

Do you recall the Arise News interview of our President? It was very revealing of the mindset of the man who makes life and death decisions on our behalf. Did he calm our nerves, or did he pour more fuel on the fire burning across the nation? Words like "the dot in a circle" matter.

 

Words and the way they are used matter at every level of leadership, at home, at work, in religion, in politics, everywhere. The greatest salesmen are those who know how to use words. The greatest preachers are those who know how to use words and definitely, the greatest leaders.

 

I am in anguish wondering whether our President truly understands the power of words.

See you next week.