YOU USED ME AND DUMPED ME!

'You used me and dumped me!' With fire in her eyes, those words were directed at me a few years ago by a female professional colleague who worked closely with me at PMAN, PMRS and at COSON where I presently serve as chairman of the Board. Each of these organizations was set up as a non-profit making institution for the advancement of the interest of the commonwealth of persons in the music industry and the next generation of artistes. Over the years, I have directed my energy at rallying people whom I think believe in the cause and are willing to render selfless service towards the achievement of the objectives.

I have never at any time promised to make anyone a millionaire for joining in doing what ultimately is a thankless job.

I used her and dumped her? Where… How? I was shocked by the anger in the eyes of my 'sister' whom I thought has the education and exposure to understand what it means to give of yourself for the good of others. I regret that I had to go to court two times to establish that I did not use my sister and did not dump her.

Last week, in Saturday Breakfast, I wrote about our penchant for immediate gratification. As a people, we no longer seem to understand the meaning of service. We want money so badly and so quickly that we sneer at the idea of providing unpaid service and making sacrifice for the good of society. And we have come to believe that everybody is on the take and only fools render service without taking.

Can you imagine if Mother Teresa was a Nigerian? At death, people from her village would have immediately and angrily thrown her body into an unmarked grave, covered it up and walked away without looking back. After all, how much money did she have? Which mansions did she own? What was the name of her husband?

When Mary Teresa Bojaxhiu, better known as Mother Teresa, died in September 1997, the whole world stood still. Her death was "Breaking News" on every international news network. She was not a Head of State, nor a popular actor, singer, sportswoman or business icon. She was not rich, yet every detail of her funeral was beamed live to the world on every significant broadcast channel.

 

Mother Teresa was an Albanian-born Catholic missionary and nun who relocated to Calcutta. She devoted her entire life to helping those most in need. Mother Teresa instituted the Order of Missionaries of Charity in India in 1950. For over 45 years, she ministered to the poor, indigent, sick, orphaned and dying. The world celebrated Mother Teresa as Queen of the poor.

Every society needs a Mother Teresa in every field – people who believe in causes and are prepared to pay any price for the cause they believe in, people who are givers. Gani Fawehinmi was a Mother Teresa. Gani was a giver. He believed in the rule of law and social justice and went to jail several times for his belief.  

I verily believe that the biggest problem we have in our nation today is that we have too many takers and very few givers. Poverty and hopelessness bestride our fatherland because we give nothing and take everything.

Give a Nigerian the nation's pension fund to manage and he takes all the money and leaves the pensioners hungry on the streets. Give a Nigerian Army General money to buy arms to fight the terrorists traumatizing our people, the General will take all the money and bury it in a soak-away pit and send innocent soldiers without weapons to go and die in Sambisa Forest. Across the country, everyone is in a mad scramble to take. Very few are willing to give. Pastors are on the take, civil servants are on the take, judges are on the take and policemen are on the take.

Give a Nigerian governor money to run his state and he grabs all the land across the state and builds mansions for himself, his wife, children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and generations unimagined. Meanwhile, he leaves the roads without maintenance, hospitals without drugs, government workers without pay and the citizens without hope.

What my 'sister' said to me has been said by a few others and shows how naïve I might have been. I used to think that many share my belief in service, sacrifice and the concept of giving.  Yes, I like to use people to do good the same way I am available to be used to do good. I believe that the worst of mankind is a useless person – that person that cannot contribute anything to making life better for the rest of God's children.

All around the world, people die so that nations can live. It is happening now in Ukraine. It is giving that makes nations live. Nigeria will die if we are not willing to give to it.

As I wake up tomorrow, I shall not ask God for the key to the strong room of the Central Bank. My prayer will be that He keeps using me to do good.

See you next week.