I AM SURPRISED THAT WE ARE SURPRISED

President Olusegun Obasanjo appointed Femi Fani-Kayode Minister of Culture and Tourism on June 22, 2006. Barely four months after, he was relieved of the position. He was made Minister of Aviation on November 7, 2006. This time, he served for about seven months.

Femi Fani-Kayode must be one of the shortest serving ministers in the history of Nigeria. He has however not missed any opportunity to remind everyone as loudly as he can that he has served as Minister twice.

Femi Fani-Kayode is one of those Nigerians not shy to tell everyone that they are men of substantial means. But where exactly does Mr. Fani-Kayode's big money come from – his flourishing law practice, his thriving factories or his great commercial enterprise distributing world renowned brands?

Femi Fani-Kayode is an expert on everything.  He loudly expresses his opinion on all matters whether he is invited or not. Fani-Kayode has an answer to every problem that confronts Nigeria. He expresses his opinions noisily without any care about modesty, humility, tact or basic decency.  The guy behaves like he has a right to disturb everyone.

By now, every person in Nigeria ought to know Femi Fani-Kayode which is why I am surprised by the massive dismay and outrage that appear to have gripped the country following Fani-Kayode's verbal onslaught on Eyo Charles, the Daily Trust reporter in Calabar on August 20. The journalist's "crime" was having the effrontery to ask Fani-Kayode who was "bank rolling" his 'Good Governance Tour' of different states of the country.

The follow-up questions ought to have been: who appointed Femi Fani Kayode "Minister of Good Governance"? Why are the governors spending tax-payers money and valuable time hosting this guy who at the end of the day brings no value to the table and just thrives on controversy?

A lot of people say that the Igbos have no king. Maybe not in the same sense that other people believe that a certain child of God was born and destined to rule over them. We believe in hard work and merit. We are certain that if there is fairness and a level playing field, every Igbo man will thrive. With the Igbos, you have to earn your kingship. In my part of the country, you are not born a king. You earn it.

The late Zik of Africa and Owelle of Onitsha, the great Nnamdi Azikiwe earned his kingship.  If you have gone around much of Igboland in recent years, almost everyone seriously seeking political office would not just put out any poster but one carrying the candidate's photograph together with that of the late Ikemba Nnewi, Eze Igbo, Dim Chukwuemeka Odimegwu Ojukwu. Ojukwu was an Igbo King. He earned it.

You may therefore understand my horror when it was announced about six years ago that one Femi Fani-Kayode had been appointed the campaign spokesman of our immediate past President, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan as he fought with Mohammed Buhari for the keys to Aso Rock Villa. Goodluck Jonathan was seen as the closest thing to an Igbo man getting to live in Aso Rock.

I am usually a very tolerant guy but I instantly felt like vomiting. Femi Fani-Kayode?! Is that not the same guy that gleefully went before the world to claim that he had slept with Her Excellency, Bianca Ojukwu, Nigeria's former ambassador to Spain and wife of the revered Igbo King, Eze Gburugburu, Chukwuemeka Odimegwu Ojukwu?

I was shocked. I asked myself who advised Ebele Azikiwe Jonathan to take such a decision. How come he did not understand that what this Femi guy had done was to slap the face of every self-respecting Igbo man? It was sacrilege. I found it incredulous that in the whole of Nigeria, GEJ could not find a better person than this man who goes about boasting about how he slept with another man's wife? I then publicly asked if GEJ was going to send his man to Igboland to speak on his behalf? My reactions were "Tufiakwa!", "Mbah!"

One of the biggest problems that Nigeria must confront going forward is our frightful loss of memory and the way people with complete lack of integrity and character manipulate us, posing to be that which they are not. We must look beyond the Potemkin Village erected by these men.

When President Jonathan announced Femi Fani-Kayode as his campaign spokesman, I honestly could not believe it. I was alarmed and wrote about it. The Fani-Kayode appointment represented to me poor judgment. I had asked if Femi Fani-Kayode was not the same guy who had publicly taken Goodluck Jonathan to the cleaners, trashing him with the worst possible words anyone can invent? Not long before taking Jonathan's job, Fani-Kayode, had in a speech titled "A Date with Destiny," declared that the administration of President Jonathan had "plunged the country into financial recklessness, bloodbath  and total misrule never before experienced in the country".

Which discerning Nigerian would believe anything good that Fani-Kayode would have to say about Jonathan afterwards? How was he going to sell a product he had so badly trashed? My conclusion was that Fani-Kayode just saw an opportunity to chop and grabbed it with both arms.

Recall the immortal words President Obasanjo once uttered about Femi-Fani-Kayode: "if you want him to sing for you, just hand him food"!

Are the South-South Governors looking for a singer? They must remember what happened to the South-South former President of Nigeria whom Fani-Kayode sang for. I have little doubt that Femi Fani-Kayode was one of the key reasons Jonathan lost the election. Rather than sell his principal, he was busy quarreling with everyone and creating controversy everywhere.

That is why I am surprised that Nigerians are surprised about Fani-Kayode's recent public outburst. Why is everyone outraged on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, etc.? Why?

See you next week.